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Writer's pictureReed

Reflections redux: Dating

I've joined a dating app. No, not twitter, or bumble, or whatever the other huge ones are at this point but one that's set up to match people based on the Myers-Briggs types of its users, and isn't entirely about dating, which is nice, because I'm not specifically looking to date. I tried dating apps when they first became a thing, and tried again not long ago, and hated it every time I've tried it. Until now, that is, and I've had a lot of fun so far - it's like interacting on reddit, but way more personal.


It's also nice that this app specifically mentions people's varying levels of weirdness and encourages people to avoid doing the "I'm selling myself to other people" thing, and allows users to set what it is they're looking for - dating, or just friendships. My profile clearly states that I'm not specifically looking for romance but am open to it if it happens, that I need me time just as much as I need the other person to need their own, and codependence and jealousy aren't things I'm interested in regardless of what type of relationship it is. And that's what I'm getting in turn.


I've matched with several people so far, and they've largely been lovely people. Sure, there have been a few bot hits and some more off-the-wall hits (there are always the "I need a mommy/daddy" ones, and the "I need a dom/sub" ones) and because those are easy to weed out...


Started a conversation with one of my matches last night and we both nerded out about writing. It is, thus far, my favorite thing to come out of this app, that conversation. We tend to write the same genre of stories, we both have a haphazard approach to structure, and one of my areas of research of late (the Camaro) is one of this person's favorite cars (which is more fool them, because I hate the damn things for no real reason).


I've chatted with several other people that are equally interesting and fun, and all for different reasons, and have spanned all genders (because I set my own, and set my own preferences to not exclude by gender). It's shocking that I'm finding this so much fun, because I genuinely hate every other dating app I've tried, and I'm writing this to help me come to terms with the fact that I'm enjoying it. I'm not sure if it's because there are no expectations for romance, or if it's a byproduct of the algorithm weeding out people with incompatible personalities, but it's been a hell of a lot of fun.


It isn't dating. I think that's important to note. Right now, it's just socializing with some specifics.

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